My Very Gay Day
Today, I went to a Verizon store to buy a new smartphone.
I asked the quite handsome, quite young, quite hipster, bearded salesperson if they had a clear protective casing.
“Yes. I’ll go get it.” He walked over to the far away wall where the cases were displayed.
He returned. “Sorry, we’re all out of the clear cases.”
I sighed. “Do you have any mostly clear?”
“Well…we have one that is clear but with glitter in it.”
I smiled, and shook my head no. A moment later: “Can I see that case?”
I followed him to the display wall, and he handed me the case. It wasn’t what I expected. It was subtle, and not really filled with glitter but with minute bits of silver metal.
Smiling, I said: “You know, I feel duty-bound as a gay man to own a glitter protective case.”
He laughed. “Then you might prefer this one,” handing me another case. This one was VERY glittery, with large glitter chunks.
I shook my head. “This is drag queen level gay. I’m not at that level.”
Leaving the store, holding the new smartphone in my hand as it sparkled in the sun, I smiled, knowing that I’d done my people proud today.
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Your new phone case sounds fabulous Ross.
Subtle sparkle good.
Enjoy!
Agreed, Karen.
Subtle sparkle good.
You go girl! We all gotta do our part to let folks know that we don’t have two heads, don’t eat babies, and we are their friends, neighbors, relatives, colleagues and acquaintances who just want to lead peaceful lives like everyone else.
Cheers!
Brendan
Brendan, while I don’t have two heads, I am, yes, just a person who has friends, neighbors, relatives, colleagues, and acquaintances, and I do just want to lead a peaceful life like everyone.
However, I do eat a baby for breakfast, daily.
You have to be so careful how you cook them, though… they do get overdone so quickly.
I know, Beth! I know!
I understand when the little toe snaps off, they’re done!
Would that be a Dutch Baby?
OMG I am actually laughing out loud at these comments.
And… yes I literally made a Dutch Baby from a New York Times recipe last winter.
Delicious! (But fattening lol)
And now I’m going to have to look up “Dutch Baby”… because anything fattening is right up my alley!
I actually bought a cast iron frying pan specifically to make a Dutch Baby and I still haven’t done it. Seasoned it and then got busy frying stuff but haven’t taken the time. It will have to be for dinner as I’m not getting up that early in the morning. Not even to eat babies.
This literally made me laugh out loud tonight. Thank you Ross for your “not quite drag queen level gay” but gay enough to buy a silvery glittery phone case personality! 🙂
I needed something to smile about tonight. This helped.
Thank YOU, Kara!
If you didn’t live way out there in the Midwest, I’d so want you to be the Will to my Grace… What a great post, and I hope you enjoy that new phone case! My 25 year old daughter is gay, and I hope she feels as comfortable in her skin as you obviously do.
Beth
Beth, it took me a LONG time to feel comfortable with being out. And, even today, there is still…hesitation.
Isn’t it a nice feeling when everything comes together in one shopping trip? Congrats on your new piece of glam.
I needed a giggle after today. Thanks Ross.
Sparkly phone cases rule for everyone! Enjoy it Ross. My philosophy is if it ain’t got glitter it ain’t worth owning.
I love your drag comment! I would say the same! Congrats on the new phone!
There is a subtle line between Elle Woods and Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Okay, maybe not so subtle.
Love it! Love you! And sad that you are still sometimes hesitant to be out. Things are slowly getting better, but not all the way there yet. I think we will get there, eventually. The younger generation is much more open and accepting than their parents. I have my teens that report in to me about conditions at our rural Iowa high school. The homophobic kids are really shunned by others.
Hi Miriam. I, too, live in Iowa! I still can’t understand how some people can act the way they do. What happened to the golden rule?! 🙂
I’m actually glad to hear that the homophobic kids are getting push-back from the (hopefully) majority of the kids! I always think of the lyrics to one of the songs from “The Prom” – not your state, but it’s a musical about a gay teenager in the Midwest who sings at one point “Note to self, people suck in Indiana!”
A phone with metallic shine? Oooh la la! A bling-bling with a ring! Happy new phone and case, Ross.
Love you Ross. We are everywhere.
And yet, no picture of the sparkly case.
Love this. Love all of this. Love you.
I agree with Glenn – we need a picture! (Tech challenged here, but surely it’s possible?) 🙂
Silvery glittery? Sounds wonderful. My favorite metal is silver. Will have to go look for that cover.
Love the smile this post put on my face and the giggle in my soul reading all the comments. Only wish is for a glittering picture! Everyone can use a little sparkle here and there.
I smiled reading this, as I love how you share your personality in writing about even the ordinary little experiences of life. I hope your new cellphone case lives a long, happy, and joyful life as you capture and view the experiences in life that bring you joy.
We need a pic of said-case! 😀
Oh this is just a hoot!
Isn’t it typical that if you have the courage to reveal you’re gay, and folks who don’t quite understand try to lump all gays; like obviously over the top glitter with sequins and chiffon.
You are so witty!
Reminded me of the time your AT & T internet went out and the guy who helped you, “Solve all your problems”…. Seemed like he was “stoned.” Sort of line Steve Martin to Martin Short in Father of the Bride—“Oh great! Wedding planning in subtitles (Franck was flamboyant and dramatic and hard to understand at first.)
Your anecdotes on daily life so entertaining!
Pictures please!!