Neurosis. Revealed.
This post isn’t JUST about the Cross House. This post is, ah, also about a heretofore unrealized and very weird neurosis that I, Ross, might suffer from.
This dramatic outing is explained…
…by the north porch of the Cross House. For months there has been mini-scaffolding obscuring the porch.
Today though I not only removed the scaffolding but also, wow, removed the 1894 porch railing so I could restore it. See how NAKID the porch looks?
After the railing was removed I experienced a wholly unexpected sensation: The lack of a railing made me feel terribly…exposed. This was so odd as the railing did not even reach my knees but its presence, somehow, and to my surprise, made me feel secure. Safe. Not secure & safe like I would not fall off the edge but more like I was protected from the world.
Sans railing, I feel terrible exposed; like I am on a stage and the audience is the many cars whizzing by on Highway 50. I have this weird feeling of wanting to look down to make sure that I am wearing pants!
This vulnerability is some sort of heretofore unknown neurotic aspect of my personality.
So, the Cross House as psychiatrist. Who knew?
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I just love those windows!! What room does this door lead to? You are doing such a wonderful job on this house, Ross.
That is, or will be, the most beautiful little porch known to exist!
Try nudism!
I smirked. Sorry, was that mean of me? Ok I laughed a bit. Poor Ross – like fleeing off stage because you forgot your costume or any clothes at all at the play you’re in (in your dreams of course, that wouldn’t really happen), or checking your fly when arriving back to the dinner table. Neurosis – sometimes includes perfectionism. I think you know you have that, but now you’ve labelled it. Silly house to label you that. It’s wanting you to be proud of it and enjoy it. Breathe. Inhale, exhale….
A perceived protection is comforting. Not having it (clothing, railing) is unsettling. So, solution – hurry with the railing so all will be right in your world again 🙂
But still check that fly.
oops, I smirked again!
Well, you’re not alone. Looking at that second picture gives me the feeling that I’m sitting on the toilet with the door open, and someone may just walk by. Exposed, and not able to run.
Great, now I feel uncomfortable, and I’m sitting in a coffee shop. In public. There’s people here. Time to pack up and retreat to my truck!
Gah! I hate that feeling!! Please put up a temporary railing.
Hmm. Something tells me you are going to get the porch railing repaired and painted SOON.
I’m looking forward to seeing the north face completed, it’s my favorite, and it looks so much better already! In the midst of all of your work and worry, don’t you still have at least one moment each day that you have to step back and pinch yourself that this beautiful house is REALLY YOURS?? I’d be COVERED in little bruises 😉
I think that it is normal to feel that way.