White Tootsie
In 2018 I posted about how I had become, a number of years previously, a Crazy Cat Person when an astonishing 22 kittens came into my life kinda all at once.
In 2024, I posted this: I RELINQUISH MY CRAZY CAT PERSON CROWN. This post detailed how, one by one, my 22 count had been reduced to 0.
While the original 22 kitties did, over time, depart for Florida, the mysterious Cat Distribution System managed to send Gray, and NewKitty2 my way. And my friend Linda gave me Bella. All three live today mostly inside my house.
Thus, my fenced yard which once was home to 22 cats has been, since 2024, home mostly to only 2 cats:
White Kitty
White Tootsie
These are cats that got into the secure yard…and never left. I have no memory of when they arrived but it was many years ago. I never thought of them as Mine. Just as Visitors.
The glory years. White Kitty, upper right, and White Tootsie, upper middle.
For a long while White Kitty would not go near me but over time she discovered…as so many animals have…that I am irresistible.
White Tootsie though, to my great astonishment, proved immune to my charms…huh?… and I was never able to touch him.
Until yesterday.
It has been clear for a number of months that he had entered his last stage of life. He got scary thin, stopped cleaning himself, and seemed to have trouble eating. I have been hyper attentive to getting him nourished and many times during each day I dropped near him what I hoped would be an irresistible treat. Mostly but not always he would slowly lap up such treats and my heart would soar.
But his grooming made my heart sad. He looked filthy and his whiskers were junked up. His mouth was crudded at the edges. And, I am pretty sure that cats hate being dirty.
So yesterday I knew I had to be brave and bold. I went inside and soaked a washcloth, grabbed a dry cloth, went back outside, grabbed Tootsie by the nap of his neck, picked him up, and placed him on a table. He looked stunned. I first cleaned his whiskers and then tried to clean his mouth. He protested the latter with great fury and it was evident that something was seriously wrong with his lower left jaw and teeth. Shockingly so.
I then place him on my chest and spoke to him gently while stroking his back. I did not want our first contact to be associated only with scariness and discomfort. He seemed to appreciate the change in direction and was calm as I spoke to him and gently raked his back. With him so close I could also get a better look at him.
And I knew that he had to go to the vet.
But I could not make an appointment as there was no guarantee that I could find him at X time and get him into a carrier. So, after my Friday morning chores were finished, I came back home and saw Tootsie on the side deck. I had already prepared so I quickly managed to pick him up, take him into the house, and place him inside a cat carrier. I assumed he would shred me in the attempt but it all went…ummm…well.
Into the car we went and Tootsie made not a sound and zero effort to get out of the carrier. This was likely his first time in a carrier.
I could only assume that his absolute passivity was a result of how sick he was, right?
With no appointment I was worried that the vet would just send up both home but to my great astonishment was told that the vet had a 20 minute window and could see us right away. Golly.
I explained to the vet that I would not describe Tootsie as feral but he was certainly not friendly. The vet said they would sedate him, and would call me after checking him out.
I went to the Carriage House, cranked up the heat, and slipped into a bed for a nap. The phone rang not long after.
“Toosie is very seriously ill. His left jaw has cancer, dead tissue, and tumors, and his teeth are falling out. We don’t see how he can recover, and certainly not at his age.”
“So, you’re telling me that taking him home will doom him to a certain and painful end?”
“Without question.”
I teared up. I had not been expecting this.
What follows in not an accurate reporting but is what I heard:
“If you would like we can book Tootsie a first-class flight to Florida, and will order a limousine to take him to the departure gate.”
“I think Tootsie will love Florida.”
It is now hours later and I am crying while writing this. How is it possible that I can be so affected by a tiny creature I only petted once?
I had not planned to write this post but realized White Tootsie deserved some kind of memorial. He came into my life many years ago, found refuge, and received some gentle strokes on his back before his final flight was booked.
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White Tootsie ????-2025.
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Oh, Ross, my sympathies. You are such a good guardian of kitties
I am so sorry, Ross. It’s never easy, even when you don’t think you’re attached.
This is a little close to home, so the feels are real. I am caregiver to our 4 cats at Botanica and our old girl has gotten so sweet and affectionate in recent weeks. Bless you and all those sweet babies who have shared their lives with you!
Now you’ve done it. Stirred up all my broken-heartedness about kitties that have been part of my life and then were not. The latest was Tops, a ginger boy whose head I only patted once over all the years he bummed food on my back porch. The second time I tried it, he walloped me with a claw. I still liked him, though
Yes, it’s sad, darn it. But God has given us agency in such matters, and a role in His creation to tend the little ones. We are better for it.
Ross, with all of your kitties, inside, outside, volunteers or otherwise acquired, you have treated them with compassion, dignity, respect and tenderness. You may not have given them what they wanted but you gave them what they needed. White Tootsie may not have wanted a grooming or a petting but that is what he needed and you provided it in the most gentle way. Likewise, you bought him a first class ticket to Florida. No bargain coach for your kitty, because he was your kitty, even if from a distance.
I am sad for your loss. And I am sad for White Kitty’s loss of companionship. Perhaps you could invite White Kitty in to join the others. You have enough room in the house, your lap and your heart for a fourth kitty. I’m sure Tootsie would appreciate that White Kitty has some comfort and companionship before joining him.
Dear Ross, you are made of gold and all things good. I tear up along with you as I read about this hard but necessary decision. It’s never easy.
Bye bye, sweet white Tootsie. Thank you for adopting Ross and keeping an eye on him.
(((White Tootsie’s Pride)))
Bless you, Ross.
You have the kindest soul Ross.
White Tootsie deserved your tears. Poor thing, he’s now pain free in Florida.
Ross, I, too, have been blessed by the cat distribution system very generously, having cared for at least 20 cats in my home at any one time. Many of them lived in my home, but never let me touch them. There is one, right now, like that in my home. He is named Flash, because he is gone like a flash if a hand reaches towards him. But he will lay on my bed when I am sitting on it, just inches from my feet. I have ALS now, bulbar presentation which means my time on this earth is very limited. And I worry most about finding homes for my cats like Flash. I rehomed the easy ones already. But how to find a home for a cat that cannot be outside (always been an inside kitty) but doesn’t offer what most people want in a cat? There are few people that have the love and compassion that you do, even when they receive nothing in return.
(((Miriam R)))
I don’t know what “bulbar presentation” is, but my mom had ALS, and f#ck it w a rusty chainsaw!
Bulbar presentation means it started from the top down, not in my extremities. So my ability to speak and swallow was impacted first. Now it is also affecting my breathing. When it starts in the hands and feet first, people can live much longer with the disease. My prognosis is very bleak. I may have a year, two at the very most.
I am sorry for your loss, and what a horrible way to lose someone dear to you.
You have a kind, empathetic heart, that’s why. RIP, Tootsie!
You have tears because you have a wonderful heart. It is so hard to see suffering 😿🫂. Thank you for what you do. 😻
Tootsie knew it was time, but couldn’t do it alone. He knew you would help. 😿 So shines a good deed in a weary world. 💜
You were the sweetest guy and I left when I read the post that when you said that wait to see found your irresistible which I thought was hysterical. You’re so funny. I love your storytelling and also your kindness.
May all your kitty cats that have adopted you rest in peace and also many of them enjoy their time in Florida for eternity🙏🏻
I voice post and I’m always greatly dismayed at the cockeyed things that I think I have corrected and that the microphone has heard me say and it many times isn’t remotely like what I said. However, the sentiment is the same. Your posts about kitties are especially heartwarming and actually any of your posts are so interesting and I learn so much from the different things that you found to work and how hard how hard you work on anything you set your mind to!
White Tootsie is pain free and enjoying his new Florida residence. Someday, when you move there, all your lovlies will be happy to party with you again.
RIP, White Tootsie, and a huge hug to you, Ross darlin’.
I’m finally reading my email (I got sick at Thanksgiving and was flat out most of December). So sad for you, as I know how much you love your kitties — and they love you back, even when they only reluctantly show it. Sending love to you across the miles as you mourn White Tootsie’s loss.