2020?

A friggin’ roller-coaster of a year. Geez.

Geez.

I purchased the Cross House in 2014, and each year has proved distinctive. The year 2017 was the most enjoyable, something wholly not anticipated. I, as with so many, was just crushed by November, 2016, and I dreaded 2017. Dreaded! HOW would I get through the year? However, the year proved…unexpectedly…enjoyable. And the Cross House caused this surprising delight.

2017 was the year I decorated the parlor, which was incredibly nourishing. At last, at last, ONE room in the house decorated!!!!!!!!

I also finished painting the north facade, so this meant that the house, which sits on a prominent corner, finally looked FABULOUS regarding its two principal facades (west and north).

And then…drum roll, please…I “enhanced” the exterior paint colors, significantly improving the, ahh, vivaciousness of the house.

So, rather than be daily crushed by the endless stream of political horrors, I was instead uplifted by the creative process of making a ruin of an old house…wonderful.

And this nourished my soul. Profoundly.

Today, I deeply feel that the Cross House saved me. For, I was in a very dangerous space during the latter part of November, 2016, and the following December. I do not think I have ever mentioned the seriousness of this. That period of my life was very dark. Scarily dark. My friends were alarmed. And trying to imagine getting through 2017 seemed profoundly overwhelming, terrifying, and utterly impossible.

Yet………2017 proved a salvation.

 

And 2020? Leaving aside all external issues (no small consideration) and focusing on just the Cross House, this year has been kinda grim. None of you will be surprised to learn that I grew to hateloathedespise cedar shingles. Shingles dominated the year, and generated nightmares.

Shingles.

Shingles.

Shingles.

Shingles.

Shingles.

I felt like my life would never cease to be about shingles. And every time I blessedly saw—maybe?—a light at the end of a seemingly endless wood tunnel, I would be vexed. Vexed!

Shingles.

Shingles.

Shingles.

Shingles.

Shingles.

And I did not see this coming. From the ground, it was clear in 2014 that there were missing shingles on the south, second floor. Well, no problem! It would be easy-peasy to simply infill the missing bits!

This proved…otherwise. Once scaffolding was erected, and a close inspection afforded, the prognosis proved grim. And this prognosis got stuck in Grim Mode for the whole year.

Shingles.

Shingles.

Shingles.

Shingles.

Shingles.

 

A significant factor impacting my stress levels this year was the 2017 Heritage Trust Grant. Infilling the missing shingles was part of the grant. The work was a minor line item, cost- and time-wise.

Oops.

When the year began, I had already been granted several Heritage extensions. So, the pressure was on, and the revised deadline was for the end of May, 2020. This deadline, with each passing day, became a crushing weight, akin to ever draping my soul with enormously heavy chains. Fearing an ulcer from the stress, I wrote to the Heritage administrator and asked for yet another extension of a few months. And, to my utter and complete astonishment, I was granted an extension to—SQUEE!!!!!!!!—December 31st.

DECEMBER!!!!!!!!

And, with that, my stress levels resumed their normal levels rather than OH MY GOD WE ARE GOING TO BE DESTROYED levels.

Ross happy. At last.

Yet, it was clear that the end-of-the year revised revised revised deadline was inviolate. INVIOLATE.

I was cool with this for several months. I mean, sure, no problem! Then (insert horror movie music) two final line items loomed ominous:

1. Pointing the north chimney could not be done when the temperature was high, or low. So, while the scaffolding was erected to do this work many months ago, the 90+ degree temperatures precluded moving ahead. The plan was to await a nice, comfortable window of 70-degree weather. Which, ahh, came and went in the blink of an eye. I went from sweating to wearing a coat almost overnight.
2. The huge curved glass for the big tower window. Would it arrive before the December deadline?

So…you can this imagine my utter astonishment when the grant administrator contacted me a few weeks ago and asked what I thought was an impossible question: “Do you need more time?”

I blinked at the email. And blinked some more. Was God now corresponding with people via email?

My reply? “Can I have one more month?”

The reply: “How about four more?”

I teared up reading this.

 

I think, think, Covid has enabled these extensions. With so much disrupted in 2020, trying to Get Things Done has also been disrupted. If this is true, it is unsettling to think that something horrific has, well, proven beneficial to me. My mind cannot really process this.

In any event, the curved glass DID arrive in a timely manner, and the pointing of the north chimney IS almost complete. I now anticipate closing out the 2017 Heritage Grant in January and then, for the first time since purchasing the house, my time will be 100% my own. You can imagine my excitement.

 

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

I have now detailed the latter.

There are however three glittering jewels of joy regarding 2020:

1. While the fucking shingling has been torturous…I DID IT! I DID IT! I stayed with the work and finished it!!!!!!!! OMG, my heart swells at this victory! I FINISHED THE WORK! YES, I DID!!!!!!!!
2. The Cross House has received two Heritage Trust Grants. Even today, I shake my head in wonder at this beneficence. My life has sooooo not been easy, and I am not used to good things being being given to me. But, the Cross House seems to generate magical things, and the two grants enabled the restoration of—drum roll, please—every single stained-glass window in the house. That is— drum roll, please—43 stained glass windows. Yes, 43! 43! And they are all now restored!!!!!!!!
3. In January, when it was too cold to be shingling, I began work on the newly named Octagon Suite. Then I purchased a fabulous 1890s bedroom set which seems ideal for the Octagon Bedroom. And work has continued bits at a time since, including ordering wall sconces, night tables, drapes, and over-the-top wallpaper. The room is gonna be a knockout. And every moment spent on the project was time not spent on shingling!

 

These glittering emotional jewels did much to offset the weight of the never-ending shingling. I feel enormous pride at finishing the singling though, and at persevering with getting all the stained-glass restored. Several times a week, I walk though the many rooms of the Cross House. I will stop and stand, for example, in the Long Bedrooms and admire its five restored stained-glass windows. And a huge smile will overtake my face, while my heartbeat increases a bit at the happiness overtaking my body. Such beauty. Such beauty. And now assured of another century.

At night, I walk around outside the house, and am stunned by the beauty of the many stained-glass windows lighted from inside. And a huge smile overtakes my face. I imagine the countless people driving by on the adjacent Highway 50. Do some of them, too, smile at the beauty of the stained-glass glass? I imagine many do. And it thrills me to think I can offer a tiny bit a pleasure to people I will never meet.

 

In addition to the two Heritage Trust Grants, my Go Fund Me campaign has now reached $11,235. Wow! In addition to the enormous financial value this represents, there is, perhaps, an even greater value with each donation: emotional. It is hard to explain but every donation helps make me feel, well, supported. Each donation offers a tangible expression of…ummm…something like a hug. Or a pat on the back. Good job, Ross! And this feels good. Really good. I am normally alone while working on the Cross House (even more so in 2020) but when a donation comes through I am reminded that there are, in fact, a lot of people across the globe interested and supportive of something happening in a small town in Kansas. I am not alone.

In closing, I wish all of you a big hug, and happy holidays.

But fasten your seat belts because 2021 is soon upon us!