Have you ever had a day when you feel like you are standing at the edge of a cliff, and might fall off?

Well, I had such a day.

You see, today I was confronted with a situation involving a titanic battle between Good Ross and Evil Ross.

Good Ross wanted to do the right thing. Evil Ross wanted to do whatever was necessary to accomplish X goal. And the goal was INCREDIBLY alluring and intoxicating. INCREDIBLY. INCREDIBLY!!!!!!!!!!!! To Evil Ross, nothing mattered (not the truth or decency or fairness) but the objective.

And the objective was considerable.

It was all rather breathless, for, which Ross would win? Good or Evil?

Good???????? Or Evil?????????



Previously, I posted this image:



A kitchen, circa-1920.


The image represents sorta kinda maybe likely what the 1921 kitchen of the carriage house looked like. The sink in the image is cast-iron, and with an enameled white finish. As I previously wrote, I would KILL for such a sink. KILL.

As I also previously wrote, I am attempting to tie in various disparate components to create a wholly new kitchen on a $1.98 budget, but with the end effect intended to look appropriate to the carriage house, and — but of course, dahlin’ — look fabulous, too.

And, oh, the end effect involves the color green.



Today, I visited a neighbor. I will call my neighbor…Jane.

When we walked into Jane’s kitchen I gasped. For, before me, was THE SINK. The sink as shown in the above image. But, but, but, the sink was (drum roll, please) green. Yes, green! Friggin’ green!!!!!!!! GREEN!!!!!!!! GREEN!!!!!!!!

This is when Evil Ross suddenly rose from some dark unexpected place deep within my soul. And Evil Ross LUSTED after the green sink. Evil Ross was foaming at the mouth. Evil Ross was bug-eyed at the vision of the green sink in the carriage house. And Evil Ross could only think one thing: MUST…HAVE…GREEN…SINK.

Good Ross however was appalled at such lust. Good Ross knew that the sink was original to the late 1930s kitchen of Jane’s home, and also knew without question that the sink should remain in place.

And Good Ross spoke: “OMG! I so LOVE LOVE LOVE your sink!” [Note how Good Ross did not indicate wanting the sink. How did he managed such a feat?]

Jane replied: “You do? Funny, but you are the only person who likes the sink besides me.”

Good Ross replied: “What? That is incredible! How can people not see how stunning/amazing/incredible the sink is??????”  [Note how Good Ross still did not indicate wanting the sink. Incredible! Evil Ross wanted to squash Good Ross. Stupid stupid Good Ross!]

Jane shrugged. Then she indicated, ever-so-slightly, like a wisp of indication, that she might actually tear out the green cast-iron sink.

This was the moment when Evil Ross became all powerful. It was a terrifying moment, and surely a force recorded on a seismic scale. How could Good Ross withstand such a power? For, all Evil Ross could think was: MUST GET GREEN SINK! MUST GET! THE SINK IS GREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I felt dizzy. Good Ross thought the green sink should remain in place. Of course. But Evil Ross WANTED THE SINK.

Evil Ross was desperate to say: “Jane, I think you are right. While I understand that you like the sink, you really have to think of resale value. I also don’t think the sink complies with current building codes. And wouldn’t you be happier with a more modern sink?”

While Evil Ross wanted to say such words (all lies), he nonetheless heard the following being verbally expressed by the damned Good Ross, and Evil Ross could not believe his ears: “Jane, while you know how I would KILL for your sink, if you love it, you should keep it. Forget what everybody else thinks!”

Evil Ross cursed cursed cursed Good Ross. But Jane could not hear such profanity.

Good Ross smiled (as he is wont to do), and departed, all the while Evil Ross wanted to smack Good Ross upside the head. Damn fool!



Jane has great taste, and is an old house aficionado.

She will keep the green sink.

The reaction from Good Ross? Whoee!!!!!!!!

The reaction from Evil Ross? Must somehow steal sink.


  1. Betsy on August 16, 2015 at 12:22 am

    I am sorry Ross, but this is THE funniest post you have ever written !!

    Tee hee

  2. Lady Cynthia Dschankilic on August 16, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    You’re hilarious! Way to go Good Ross! Now go buy Evil Ross some ice cream to cheer him up. Remember, all good sinks come to those who wait! (Yes, I just did that)

  3. Marjorie on August 16, 2015 at 8:39 pm

    I know, I should not, but I kinda wanted the Evil Ross to get THAT GREEN SINK.

  4. on August 17, 2015 at 9:26 am

    Hey Ross, that sink was for sale here 2 months ago (ming/jadite green). Alas, not for a $1.98, but still… I searched everywhere for the listing, but it’s expired and gone. They can be reglazed in any color, but I’m dubious of that holding up in the kitchen.

  5. Travis on August 17, 2015 at 7:11 pm

    Too funny! You should have let evil Ross win. If nothing else, make sure you allow room for a green sink in the future. I will keep a watch out for you!

  6. Janet on August 18, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    I think Jane made the right decision. I bet that sink is beautiful and will compliment her kitchen. Jane is probably a nice person and will be hoping you too find your dream sink. It is wonderful that Good Ross prevailed. 😉

  7. Cheryl Friend on September 18, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    I immediately thought of Gollum from Lord of the Rings…

    We wants it.
    We needs it.

    Must have the Precious!

  8. Grace on September 26, 2015 at 8:30 pm

    At least if she changes her mind she knows of a home where her beloved sink will be cherished.

  9. Laura on November 9, 2018 at 5:44 pm

    Hilarious! I am still reading away after three days and that is the funniest one yet! I could just imagine your sink envy.

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