The Cross House

New…I N V A D E R S

Recently, I did two posts about being invaded by squirrels.

The adventure was exhausting.

Just when I thought the damn creatures were gone, they would make a mockery of my assumptions. One day, after opening the outer front door, I unlocked the inner door, opened it, and…stopped. A squirrel was standing in the foyer looking like a tiny butler ready to greet me.

I stared.

It stared. Then bolted.


A fews days later one was in the kitchen.

One day I was walking up the servant’s stair when I heard an odd sound. I stopped. The sound grew closer. Then closer. Then a squirrel casually walked right by me not 6-inches away. He seems unaware of my presence.

Every day I would go to the third floor and open several windows with the hope that the damn squirrels would recognize these as escape routes. I even made ramps to the window sills out of 2×6 boards. Squirrels like ramps, right?

But were the damn squirrels leaving?

I worried that they would die of thirst and/or starvation so I put a water bowl on the third floor floor, and a large glop of peanut butter adjacent.

Neither was ever touched.

Do squirrels prefer filet mignon and red wine?

The days passed into weeks and, eventually, there were no sightings. And no evidence of their existence.

Then, one day I did the now ritual walk up to the third floor and heard a very odd sound.

Damn. Two birds were in the attic! How did they get in?

I opened several windows, and managed to get the birds in the vicinity of said windows. Then the birds flew out.


As I stepped away I saw something quite unexpected.


While it seems obvious that squirrels will only deign to eat filet mignon and drink red wine, birds are not so particular. The water in the bowl was down by 2/3, and the glop of peanut butter had been pecked by 80%.


I cleaned and refilled the water bowl, and added a fresh glop of peanut butter. And about every other day one or more birds are back inside. I am uncertain if these are new birds each time or the same birds toying with me.

I am not amused.




13 Responses to New…I N V A D E R S

  1. Only a rare kind of human would put out food and water for house pests. Though, I would probably do the same 🙂

  2. Hopefully they will leave on their own, especially since you don’t know where they are coming in at. Birds can and will squeeze through a small opening; we found that a starling has pecked a 2″ hole in the fishscale of a two-story bay window, and from the sound of it, is raising a family in there. I thought about plugging the hole, but there is no way to remove the babies without tearing up more fishscale or harming the little birds. I’m hoping that momma will leave once the babies do…

  3. Borrow a dog from a friend. A dog will scare all the birds out without hurting them, worked for my garage.

  4. Putting out food and water for what most would consider vermin is a very ethical thing to do. May whatever deity exists reward you greatly for your acts of kindness.

  5. From time to time, I find a Carolina Wren in our basement. At first, I thought the little thing was trapped in there, and I did my best to shoo it outside. One day, I succeeded. A few days later, it was back. Two wrens in the basement? Oh no, I must have separated a mating pair! Shooed Wren #2 out the back door and breathed a sigh of relief … until I saw another one in the basement a few days later. No chance that there were originally THREE wrens, which convinced me that there was certainly a secret wren door to the basement that I was unaware of. Wrens are smart little birds, who can squeeze through incredibly small openings and remember how to get back out, so I’m not going to worry about them anymore. For the record, after I shooed the bird out for the third time, I haven’t seen it again.

  6. I think what the Cross House needs is a cat. Or maybe two cats. Or perhaps one per floor. Perhaps you have a cat or two that would enjoy a vacation at the mansion for a day or two?

  7. Are there caps on the chimneys?

    I can’t come to Kansas but I bet I’d find out where the little beasties are
    getting in. What about sprinkling baby powder on the floor?

    I thought you already discovered their entrance once.

    Yea, I would definitely get a healthy looking cat since you like them anyway.
    Good luck, we would all help you you know..

  8. I vote for caps on chimneys and ensuring all little nooks and crannies not already renovated be scrutinized for invaders’ entrances! I also vote for no food in the house. If squirrels did not respond to the food traps and the birds just partook of the buffet — then no food for invaders:-) your invaders are not going to starve for a day or two of entrapment. Aren’t you there almost every day?

    I also vote for adopting new kitties since your beloved elderly cats passed away, most recently Gilda. I adopted 2 kittens (sisters) together as I was working full time and they kept each other company — Annie died in 2016 & Dottie is still going strong at 14. She thinks she is 5 and plays & frolics, however she is very lonely and I can hear her meowing as I approach my door.

    Kitty cats are desperately needed at Cross House. When you are ready they will be stalwart sentries and scare away critters. 🙂

  9. Have not gotten control of my squirrel problem either. Haven’t heard noise lately but surely they can still come and go since we haven’t found the opening.

    I see a “full house inspection” for 325.00 from a pest control company. I may go for that then have my contractor do repairs.

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