Stories From My Past

I skipped school a lot when I was in 9th grade.

I couldn’t deal with the constant bullying. “Fag! Queer!”

But, if a student missed a day, they had to have a note from a parent the next day. Of course, I could do no such thing, so I created the notes, and signed them myself.

As the month passed, my notes became increasingly outlandish. One note read: “Please excuse Ross from school yesterday. An elephant stepped on his foot.”

When I was finally caught (the truant officer actually called my house), Mom was livid! She later brandished the ‘elephant’ note in front of me. “What kind of excuse is this??????????”

I lowered my head and mumbled: “I thought it was kinda funny. And they accepted it.”

Out of the corner of my eye I could see my dad suppressing a smile.

Mom, shrieking: “And you signed your own name? Why would you do that??????????”

Me, mumbling again: “I figured the school would have no idea of my dad’s actual name. So, I figured they’d just assume his name was also Ross. For I knew that, while I might get in trouble for skipping school, I’d never survive getting caught forging dad’s name.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as my dad put his hand over his mouth to cover a laugh.

13 Comments

  1. Nora on December 9, 2021 at 8:47 pm

    Sad you had that experience to begin with, but the note story is very funny Ross! Thank you for sharing

    • Ross on December 9, 2021 at 9:01 pm

      Thanks, Nora!

      The worst part of that whole drama was my mom demanding WHY I had skipped so much school.

      I knew I couldn’t tell her.

      But she wouldn’t let up her shrieking.

      “WHY did you skip so much school? WHY????????”

      I couldn’t take it anymore, so finally responded, barely audible: “Because they call me names.”

      “Names? That’s it? Just name calling?”

      I nodded my bowed head.

      And she wouldn’t let it go. “So, what kind of names? What names could be so bad that you would humiliate our family like this?”

      She continued shrieking.

      During a pause, I answered in a whisper: “Faggot.”

      You could have heard a pin drop. Her head was frozen; she did not turn to my dad. He did move either.

      The moments passed, unbearable. Then dad said, with great gentleness: “Go to your room now. Your mother and I will discuss this.”

      And so it was out: Their son was a queer.

      • Nora on December 9, 2021 at 10:54 pm

        Thinking dad probably picked a pretty smart move for the moment and perhaps avoided making things even worst in the heat of it all. I truly appreciate you sharing this story.

      • John S Blick on December 10, 2021 at 9:26 am

        I’m also sorry for your experience. Your Dad sounds like he was a pretty good guy.

  2. Kara on December 9, 2021 at 10:03 pm

    Ross – A story both funny and heartbreaking. I hope your parents were accepting of you after you had to come out to them like that. <3

    • Ross on December 9, 2021 at 10:43 pm

      Thank you, Kara. BIG hug!

      I came out to my mom in 1975, and she seemed cool with it. Sorta.

      So, imagine my shock in 1991 when she revealed that I had mistaken her silence as acceptance. “I think being gay is disgusting!”

      I never talked with dad about it but, looking back, realize that he was actually OK with my being gay.

      In short, I assumed too much about mom, and didn’t give dad the credit he deserved.

      • mlaiuppa on December 10, 2021 at 4:33 am

        I think your Dad suspected and your Mom was clueless until that first encounter. Obviously your Dad could never change your Mother’s mind but while he was alive at least she didn’t say anything to you.

        It is very sad.

  3. Seth Hoffman on December 9, 2021 at 11:17 pm

    What a poignant little story about your life. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  4. Dan Goodall-Williams on December 10, 2021 at 3:15 pm

    Some Dad’s are honestly more accepting. I’m sorry for what you endured. I did not have as much in school, but it was there. I too, forged notes but I signed my mother’s name. I wrote very much like her. Coming out in 1975 had to be very difficult. I’m about 9 years behind you. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Laurie L Weber on December 10, 2021 at 5:31 pm

    I cannot imagine what you went through. I went to school with only 36 in my class. I didn’t notice anyone being bullied – at least I hope I wasn’t oblivious! I don’t think I even knew what gay was. Very sheltered upbringing. But you are a brave man now and I’m so proud of you. 🙂

  6. Angélica on December 10, 2021 at 5:49 pm

    Dear Ross
    I look forward to reading more of your stories, in particular, those related to your previous homes.
    Thanks for sharing.

  7. Leigh on December 12, 2021 at 8:51 pm

    It takes a lot of courage to tell the truth. Your father was amused at how creative (elephant) and honest (your own signature) you were. He also took care of his raging wife. Some families might be dysfunctional. You surpassed your challenges, Ross. Your story will give strength to those who might be in a similar situation. Happy holidays.

  8. Jakob on January 8, 2022 at 3:14 pm

    This is brilliance! Fortunately I was spared the worst of the high school bullying, by virtue of having two sisters all the guys wanted to date. The three of us had free run of the place with the ultimate ace in the hole – The principal had had an affair with a janitor while my mom was temping for the school and he knew we knew. And who should be in my class but the very sweet, naive principal’s daughter? That principal would have let us get away with murder!

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