Fuck Fuck Fuck. FUCK! Fuck FUCK FUCK! FUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!
You just might, from the title of this blog post, get an indication, however subtle, that ROSS IS MAD.
After you finish reading the post, you, too, will be violently swearing in sympathy.
I can assure you of this.
At the top of the staircase in the carriage house is a cased-out opening for a door. Originally, there was no door. There was, instead, a newel post and railing to the right. I would love to recreate this. However, Cody has two kitties. Many months will pass before the work on the first-floor is complete, so Cody asked if a door could be re-installed in this location so he could close in his kitties during the day while work ensues down below. You can see the new door to the right of the door frame.
But the left of the door frame?
This is when Holy Hell Rained Fire & Brimstone Upon Us.
Oh, and…F U C K !
The left door frame proved…bowed. It bowed out in the middle. So, while top/bottom of the door fit into place, the whole middle would not close.
This. Is. Bad.
To ascertain the problem, I need to remove the outer trim. Under, was revealed a 2×4 attached to the original plaster, and two layers of ripped-down plywood (the outer plywood being the finish layer).
The problem, as discovered, is that the original wall bowed outward.
To fix this, I thought I could easily…quite foolishly, in retrospect…simply remove the two outer layers, discard the inner layer, then carefully reattach the outer layer into place with wood shims, artfully positioned to compensate for the bow.
Easy-peasy!
Oops.
The outer layer was held in place with an insane amount of nails. After angrily yanking out this absurdity, I discovered…FUCK…even more nails holding the inner layer.
What fucking idiot installs a piece of trim with SIX closely-placed SIX INCH LONG nails every few feet???????? And each layer of trim was like this. WHO DOES THIS?
With intense fury, I savagely yanked and pulled and crowbarred the plywood trim. Where plywood met 6 or 8 nails, it just broke off.
I do not know who did this TOTAL idiocy.
But if I ever find them….
Anyway, after much ado ado ado ado ado ado, the door now opens/closes properly.
Kitties happy.
Ross LIVID.
Note: I rarely get angry while working on restoration projects. I expect problems. I know there will be issues of rot and bad wiring and sloppy repairs. And I take this all in stride.
But to confront breathtaking stupidity?
Say after me: Fuck Fuck Fuck. FUCK! Fuck FUCK FUCK! FUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!
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The quaint old chant of the house restorer’s:
“Damn, DAMN! Double damn….. Triple damn! Hell! Son of a bitch, son of bitch, well, well, WELL!”
Repeat as needed!
Umph! Ross triUMPHed to this challenge!
Oh yes, around here we have “affectionately” named whoever the guy installing things like this was ‘Naily McNailerson’ and he has run rife throughout our house too. You want to pull down a small, non original closet? That will take infinitely longer than it should because NAILY MCNAILERSON STRIKES AGAIN! Even worse is his pal Screwy McScrewerson. Totally understand the fury.
Ha!! That’s hilarious.
Preach! I’m with ya. Just found knob & tube wiring in a light switch connecting to new wiring for a ceiling light. No caps or even electrical tape at the connections. 2 chandeliers…1 circuit…total brown out. *sigh*
Man, I’ve been a carpenter for forty years. The stuff I’ve seen would make a strong man swoon, not to be overly dramatic or anything. Along the lines of Ginger’s post, I removed the drywall from walls and ceiling of an addition once, and found an entire electrical system of 18 gauge lamp cord, buried in the wall, with no mechanical connections or even tape. Just wires twisted together, and wired to the backs of the switches and receptacles, without device boxes. I’ve seen double hung windows installed sideways, so they’re sliding windows. I’ve seen drywall hung backwards, with the brown paper facing out, or even worse, drywall jobs where they had to use every single last scrap of board. Do you have any idea how hard that is to tape and finish? I could go on for days, but the worst part is that some of this work was done by so called professionals. And yes, I’ve had to demolish things where they used far, far too many nails.
For many years I have called fucking idiots Fidians. You are ever so lucky that you haven’t found the work of past unknown Fidians at the Cross House.
Oh no. 😲😞😤
Just plain insanity!
Also laziness along with stupidity. Probably someone who didn’t have the slightest clue about anything practical & combine that with total lack of ingenuity or creativity.
Very unfortunate🙁
I TOTALLY get this.
I had to replace all the window and door trim in my living room because I COULD NOT remove ANY of it in one piece, due to twelve thousand fucking nails driven into every piece! Gorgeous old growth clear fir trim. Gods, I was screaming with frustration the entire time!
One trim piece above the picture window, just shy of six feet long, was nailed with TWENTY-SEVEN nails ranging from finish nails to square head three inch long fucking spikes!
At least you can be thankful that you weren’t trying to remove some awesome piece of irreplaceable trim.
This is why they make prehung doors. But you can’t do that with original vintage doors.
I’ve actually bought slab doors twice and hand planed them myself, hand chiseled for the hinges and hung them myself. Luckily I was working with decent squared openings.
Reading this post and some of the replies, I’m now thinking some of the WTF were they thinking moments I’ve had in my house weren’t so bad.
Poor Ross. Can’t imagine how stupid you would have to be to use that many nails! Hang in there! 🙂
Oooh, Ross is cross, but I totally understand why. If homeowners don’t know how to make a repair, just call someone. Don’t be an idiot. The previous owners of our old house, repaired cracks in the plaster with cement, gritty, gray, lumpy cement. This does not sand down well. Have they never heard of spackle or joint compound? Looks like you opened up a can of worms. Hang in there Ross.